On a flight not long ago, while listening to mellow mantra
yoga music on my IPod, I noticed what was playing on the movie screens all
around me. Everyone seemed to be watching a film called “Anger!” Whether it was
an explosive action movie or a dramatic love story, anger was the main theme.
As I witnessed the angry faces and movements on the screens without being
able to hear the dialogue, sound effects or music, I wondered what everyone
seemed so extraordinarily furious about. It occurred to me then that anger—like
happiness—is something we can choose, and by surrounding ourselves with angry
images, sounds, and expressions we’re feeding into the choice to be pissed off.
I will admit there is plenty of disturbing news in the world
every day. But anger doesn’t seem to solve problems, and in many cases makes
things worse. When my kids were little, the popular advice was to give them a
pillow to punch or enroll them in an active sport like football so they could
“get their anger out.” Even back then, this seemed unwise to me. Anger and
punching just appeared to produce more anger and punching. As the mother of
three boys, I was used to anger, even though my kids were not especially out of control. Still, there
were balls thrown through windows, the occasional broken bone, and insults and
expletives hurled (among other items) when anger exploded. All this was
unsettling, to say the least. I’m not against active sports or punching bags (as
long as they’re punched with joy!) but I found that reading a story or taking a walk
in the woods was just –if not more—effective when tempers flared.
My kids (now grown) still get angry now and then, and so do
I. Anger and explosive passion can lead to so many types of
destruction (including self destruction) and I’ve observed
that anger begets anger, just as love produces more love. I’ll stick to my
healing mantras and breathing techniques to weather any angry storm; I’d rather
let the light in than punch anyone’s
lights out. Namaste!
