tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66606915808689546572024-03-12T17:59:22.611-07:00Liv Write!Life, writing, yoga, motherhood, etc.Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.comBlogger219125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-17807284313749004642022-06-19T14:11:00.000-07:002022-06-19T14:11:38.821-07:00Meet Me on the Corner<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwD9EAT7e8zRgJMoVl2OMkPHlABxQFpsxRKVzSVAwFItLjGCtV3sPrFzwTDghlgVR08EGV5h69NXHmsf2K6HGKOmFxr4EHAczejF54Je2j7oxkgQB48uXFaixIX46l8aMz8GCq-vjiEQQt8SkD8SgPOvab9kq8_FmBrfBKLXZJPW3ommsUxZwZ3QP/s3413/dad%20and%20me.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3413" data-original-width="2951" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKwD9EAT7e8zRgJMoVl2OMkPHlABxQFpsxRKVzSVAwFItLjGCtV3sPrFzwTDghlgVR08EGV5h69NXHmsf2K6HGKOmFxr4EHAczejF54Je2j7oxkgQB48uXFaixIX46l8aMz8GCq-vjiEQQt8SkD8SgPOvab9kq8_FmBrfBKLXZJPW3ommsUxZwZ3QP/s320/dad%20and%20me.HEIC" width="277" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">I've been thinking of my father lately; one night I was remembering how he used to meet me on the corner when I walked home from my best friend’s house after dark. If I could define the word “safety” it would be that moment when I would spy my father under the street lamp waiting. I would call from Beth’s house just as I was leaving, at nine, ten or maybe 11 o’clock, depending upon my age, and say, “Leaving.” Then I would scoot out her front door and confront the dark, empty street, either walking or on my bike, and by the time I got to the corner, there Dad would be, often smoking his pipe. Never, ever, did he let me down. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> Nothing sinister or dangerous ever happened, and probably never would have, because Schenectady, NY, in those days was pretty safe, and my street and Beth’s were quiet. But Dad was no fool and being linked into the court system as the director of probation he knew that crimes did occur even in safe neighborhoods where we didn’t even lock our doors (at least, not during the day). <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> No matter what he was doing he dropped it to escort me safely home, and he never told me he couldn’t meet me, or denied me the fun of going to Beth’s house to hang out with my friend, or was too drunk to get to the corner (the man did not drink, except maybe a tiny glass of port or a cold beer on a hot day though I don’t even remember that), or too tired, or too anything, and he never sighed or sounded exasperated or annoyed, and he was always, always there to answer the phone. The message was that I was a VIP. And there is no better, no more important message for a little girl (or a teenaged girl, or maybe a girl of any age) to receive from her father.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">This is not to say we didn’t have our issues, particularly during my teen years when I started wearing mini-skirts and white lipstick. My dad didn’t seem to know what to do with my budding sexuality, so he withdrew for a few years, looking a bit disgusted and disgruntled when I’d dress for a date. In due time he relaxed a bit; not only did I acquire a steady boyfriend, but the late sixties and early seventies were a time of baggy painter pants and construction boots. He couldn’t very well disapprove of that, though I’m sure he wasn’t thrilled with the braless part. Ironically, it was my proper and gentlemanly dad who accompanied me to buy my very first bra, standing uncomfortably in the ladies’ loungewear department of our local department store when I was in fourth grade, because my mother was bedridden with a slipped disc just when all the girls in my class were getting their first bras (clearly, few of us actually needed them). He stood there like a trooper, while I marched up to the counter and bought what I desired; a little piece of stretchy cotton called a training bra. My parents never discussed sex with me, though my mother did hand me a pamphlet about menstruation when I was 12.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> Times were different. I never heard my parents utter a single swear word (my children learned a host of expletives from me early on in life!). I did once hear my father bellow “Son of a B!” as he raced through our house and out the back door in his pajamas (I think there may have been a stray dog or a raccoon in our backyard). Beth and I had a good laugh over that for years. His code words for caution were simply, “Hey-hey!” Basically that either meant “Watch out!” or “Stop it right now!” The odd little word-combo had power: I never even considered ignoring it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; line-height: 32px; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> It’s decades now since my father passed, and I still miss him. Happy Father’s Day to all fathers; I hope you know how truly important you are. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p>Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-64425768219545242162022-04-03T07:45:00.000-07:002022-04-03T07:45:22.122-07:00Mysteries of Trees<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6yWtocirLMXGtTdeKqF-osODXCPsFpRG86CkN1XDIbOPRXSlIfa-GrIuMY20FuzvUJoFnI0ljcm5AuUvCm5oG9i7G1iBn5m-feNGo7WuuJdWamj3CzkDJCpepCGlOWwpC_OVnraxYC4mVBuQ2ndmmZ7Jj6PxLiMRNxnNwQI1sWzjESDg8tbibb8sI/s2984/blossoms.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2947" data-original-width="2984" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6yWtocirLMXGtTdeKqF-osODXCPsFpRG86CkN1XDIbOPRXSlIfa-GrIuMY20FuzvUJoFnI0ljcm5AuUvCm5oG9i7G1iBn5m-feNGo7WuuJdWamj3CzkDJCpepCGlOWwpC_OVnraxYC4mVBuQ2ndmmZ7Jj6PxLiMRNxnNwQI1sWzjESDg8tbibb8sI/s320/blossoms.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I’m sure there’s an un-magical explanation for almost everything in the Universe, but sometimes I prefer to conjure up my own meaning. Take the case of five plum trees that mysteriously appeared in my backyard one day. No one planted them. They sprouted in a perfect line, four to five feet apart, along an unattractive green fence that my former neighbor erected 20 years ago when she acquired a tiny, yapping (though adorable) dog.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">On this fairly neglected side of my small backyard, there is a pear tree (the newbies do not resemble it). There is also a flowering plum tree I planted; it picked up some sort of illness and hasn’t grown much in 15 years. If I were a botanist I might be able to reveal how the new trees sprang from the elder trees (if that’s the case), or how a bird dropped seeds in a perfect line, or provide some other logical scientific explanation. But for me, the case is more clearly explained by the fact that I never admired that little green fence (also, I harbored a certain annoyance because said neighbor had a habit of ripping down the honeysuckle that grew upon it).<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">That neighbor (of whom I grew quite fond) has since moved; the fence remains and my new neighbor spends the spring season generously planting flowers all over her yard. Maybe it’s the general attitude on this end of my block now that promotes the growing of things (at the other end of my dead-end street folks seem to prefer to chop down trees and plant cement). Or maybe it’s that the Universe heard my lament about the honeysuckle. Or maybe the powers that be took pity when it was observed that my plum tree was doing poorly, that our pear trees are getting old, or that I still mourn an apple tree that met an untimely demise.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">In any case, I somehow missed the appearance of the five saplings for several years (I did mention my neglect of that area), and by the time they caught my eye last spring they were nearly three feet tall, and looked suspiciously promising. So I left them alone. Yesterday, when I looked outside I noticed that one had burst into pink bloom, and the others are readying their blossoms. Yes, they are still small…four feet tall perhaps at this point. But they will one day be taller and fuller, and hopefully will detract from the fence.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Magical things do pop up in life, like ideas for writing, plum (or cherry) trees, friendships, opportunities, shoes that fit perfectly and are on sale, ice cream cones, soul mates etc. and though we want and need to explain many things sometimes it’s better just to open our arms and accept. I’m grateful that I ignored that part of my yard for so long--my neglect allowed the trees to grow to the point where they could be noticed and valued for what they truly are. Had I been puttering about over there I most likely would have thought they were among the scores of stray oak or maple saplings that pop up every year (I can’t nurture them all, I don’t have the space for a forest). Had I pulled them up I would have missed the magic.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">So thank you, Universe, elves, fairies, or industrious garden birds or savvy squirrels. Sometimes, tiny miracles sprout when we’re not even paying attention.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p>Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-73338632046649957932021-04-28T11:56:00.001-07:002021-04-28T11:56:45.162-07:00If Wishes Were Horses...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI1qQutnVtv6zW9z7QSrLzNqxg4Bp7LoFf4Q-7FvuT6OWcrrzDUDaCOXIDCf1lt9vwtcebyFF7NBTEkZjqhIlmtDybzWC-9HjFhmtUgw7vqsilbvsyMJ4GiEMOWzGv1xuTFaiLElLnQ5s/s2048/horse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI1qQutnVtv6zW9z7QSrLzNqxg4Bp7LoFf4Q-7FvuT6OWcrrzDUDaCOXIDCf1lt9vwtcebyFF7NBTEkZjqhIlmtDybzWC-9HjFhmtUgw7vqsilbvsyMJ4GiEMOWzGv1xuTFaiLElLnQ5s/s320/horse.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><i>Though I know that prayer has real power I used to think that wishes were just for fun. That was before Covid-19. Back</i> <i>when this Covid nightmare started, I penned some thoughts about things I wanted to change in my life. Strangely enough, with the “lock down” many of my “wishes” came true. Now that we’re beginning to emerge from this nightmare, I wonder whether I’ll leap back into my “old” life. Maybe you're wondering, too. Here’s what I wrote about one year ago:</i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Sometimes, I wonder if maybe my penchant for magical thinking has caused this whole Covid-19 mess, even though it’s crazy to imagine that my secret thoughts would have that much impact. So, how could I possibly pin this on myself? Well, for one thing, I’ve been thinking secretly for months that I am sick and tired of getting pedicures and haircuts. I know many women enjoy the pampering, but it always seemed a waste of time. Teaching yoga, however, one’s feet are constantly on display, so pedicures are kind of de rigueur. Likewise, as much as I love my hairdresser, who’s been trimming my tresses forever, I’ve privately also been thinking that I am just plain tired of going to the salon.</span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">These thoughts have been going out from my brain into the cosmos: “I don’t want to go get a pedicure. I don’t want to get a haircut…” In yoga-speak, co-creating my reality,</span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> </span><i style="text-indent: 0.5in;">manifesting</i><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">if you will. And now, of course, no pedicures or haircuts for months!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Also, my constant mantra has been: ‘I don’t want to drive.’ The two yoga classes I was teaching before the Pandemic required me to get on busy highways in rush hour. I’d pretty much conquered my fear of rush hour driving but in the back of my mind I kept <i>wishing</i> I didn’t have to deal with traffic. Now, I haven’t driven on a major highway in months. My best friend says she may be getting agoraphobic from not going anywhere, and I wonder if that will happen to me, too. I wonder how many people will come out of this afraid to drive or go to a grocery store. Still, it seems like the collective wishing may have brought this on. I mean, no one wished for a Pandemic, but if people all over the planet are secretly bitching the way I was, who knows?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I’ve also wished constantly for more time with my husband. That’s strange because we’ve been living in an empty nest ever since our youngest son went to college, and we should probably be sick of each other. But pre-Pandemic I was always rushing out the door to teach or go to a yoga class or shop or get to some kind of appointment, and he was running around too, since pre-Covid there were Broadway shows and operas for musicians (like my husband) to play. Quite often I just <i>wished</i> we could hang out more together and not have to worry about going <i>anywhere.</i> And now? It’s uncanny. We’re always together, and quite happily so. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Of course, I also wished for a lot of things I <i>didn’t</i> get (like $250,000, a trip to Italy, and a cute tiger kitten like the one I had when I was ten) so I guess it doesn’t make sense to self-blame. Nevertheless, I also…<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Wished for a nearby falafel shop and one opened at the foot of my street.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Wished that the teacher would open our Zoom yoga class relaxing on our backs instead of with a challenging pose because I was tired, and it happened.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I even wished—long before Covid-19 --that we could do yoga teacher trainings <i>online</i>. And now that’s all there is!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">I certainly didn’t wish for all this tragedy and illness. And I sure have been praying it would all go away. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">And it looks like…hopefully… that prayer that we’ve all been praying may one day come true.<i><o:p></o:p></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Honestly, I know my wishes don’t create reality…but just recently I commented that I’d trade the falafel place for the end of this Pandemic any day.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">You guessed it: The falafel place is closing. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">The curious thing is, I really don’t know how many of the things I wished away I <i>do</i> actually want back. This whole wretched (and yet in some ways miraculous) year has certainly made us all get our priorities straight. And I think most of us would agree that giving our loved ones an actual hug is a lot more important than straight bangs or pink toenails. In fact, a year of not doing a lot of things that really didn’t matter very much has brightly illuminated the things that matter quite a lot. <o:p></o:p></p></div>Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-3719127925315090512020-12-24T07:23:00.003-08:002020-12-24T07:26:36.728-08:00An Abundance of Caution<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ2OzdCuMg1EFaBOJClax8e2zWiJirGK4FFbQUxoW2ZCM5H0eix5sxH6NOKSIuA_xyfGvQUVv1lcVDhc2j1wsDVk5LcqxxwXdYAu22Z1JJ3qG6F5icY0i-tVO_Hav5g3J5G72F_ruckLU/s2048/IMG_5985.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ2OzdCuMg1EFaBOJClax8e2zWiJirGK4FFbQUxoW2ZCM5H0eix5sxH6NOKSIuA_xyfGvQUVv1lcVDhc2j1wsDVk5LcqxxwXdYAu22Z1JJ3qG6F5icY0i-tVO_Hav5g3J5G72F_ruckLU/s320/IMG_5985.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><p></p></blockquote><p><span face="Calibri, sans-serif">For some strange reason, my pals get a kick out of suggesting titles for my blogs. A few weeks ago, a dear friend offered this one, and I mulled it over for a while. Today, I figured out why it’s the perfect title for my Christmas Eve post.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">This year, out of “an abundance of caution” I’m spending Christmas Eve with those in my Pandemic 2020 “bubble”-- my husband, our eldest son, and his wife. Missing are my middle son and his wife, my youngest son, my brother, my sister-in law, my nephew, and on Xmas Day the aforementioned as well as additional aunts, uncles and a niece. For the first time in 20 years—since my mother’s passing—I’m not making all the traditional holiday foods and hosting the extended family. I'm skipping the fruit salad with whipped cream (a hold-over from days of yore), and there will be no sparkling cider or mixed nuts in shells because I plum forgot to order them online. How sad.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">And yet we are--knock on wood--still healthy ten months into this mess. And universe willing, we will be here to celebrate next year…because of an abundance of caution that tells us that no matter what we do, or who we spend the holidays with, we want to follow the yogic pledge of ahimsa: non-harming.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">But what about…throwing caution to the wind? What about the abandonment of fear, trusting in the Divine, what about just saying, “Eat, drink and be merry….for tomorrow...” Well, you probably know the rest of that quote.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I like to throw caution to the wind sometimes. Kick off my shoes and jump into the deep water. Drive just a tad too fast. Stay up too late. Get on an airplane even though I’m scared to fly. Just say, “Who cares?“ or “Whatever!” Or, well...wtf.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I’ve always been one to err on the side of caution, though, and these times seem perfect for that approach. I feel sorry for folks who are used to throwing caution to the wind, folks who live with wild, untamed abandon, because this is a tough time to be doing that. Not so much because they might get hurt, but because they might cause someone they love to lose their very life.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">These are the oddest of times, and the most bizarre and sacred of Christmas seasons, even though many of us are not where we want to be, and not with all--or possibly any--of the people we want to be with. This holiday season, more than perhaps any other, I’m steeped in gratitude. And I’m acutely aware of the blessings I’ve enjoyed most of my life. I’m deeply aware of how much my family means to me and this Christmas, more than any other, I understand that caring for others is the most important act we can do on earth.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">And so, out of an abundance of caution, this will be a lonely but quiet, reflective, and responsible Christmas. My heart aches because it’s different, because I can’t be with or hug all my kids (though I'm lucky indeed to have one I can see in person) and because it feels like time is lost, never to be retrieved. But I know time is also gained, in the sense that what really matters to us is now crystal clear, and hopefully after this year of painful lessons we will never "waste" time ever again. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"> <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">They say there’s a season for everything, and though it’s not in the Bible or in a song by the Byrds (that I know of) I believe there’s a season for an abundance of caution, as well as a time to throw caution to the wind. For sure, this year has proven that there is, as the scripture says, “...a<span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: #f9f9f9; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #030303; font-size: 10.5pt;"> time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.” </span>Nevertheless-- without hugs or kisses--I wish you all a beautiful holiday, and a healthy, triumphant New Year.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p>Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-56896966805970629642020-09-20T17:25:00.000-07:002020-09-20T17:25:21.170-07:00The Year the Ordinary Became Wonderful <p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBG5kg8mOQMM9jM5GEG29nB4xUFx3oFVIyUzJf6FCJiZVZ3VfDp-i2lr7_jRtBrsgim0R3p4xkTCRrM56FpvROFzpU5lgc9yLXtZnPjrxzFTid2g75QuS1lDxSB9PJ-0F_oC9hp4iaDDQ/s552/f+and+me.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="421" data-original-width="552" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBG5kg8mOQMM9jM5GEG29nB4xUFx3oFVIyUzJf6FCJiZVZ3VfDp-i2lr7_jRtBrsgim0R3p4xkTCRrM56FpvROFzpU5lgc9yLXtZnPjrxzFTid2g75QuS1lDxSB9PJ-0F_oC9hp4iaDDQ/s320/f+and+me.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span>The title of this blog was suggested to me by my very best friend. She had no idea what I might write about, but she thought this title sounded like something that might inspire me. It did--and so does she. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span> </span>My friend F and I met many years ago in college in upstate New York. She was my “suite” mate my freshman year, and she was just one year ahead of me. I was in awe of F: She had a pet white rat named Eugene, whom she was babysitting from the psych lab, she had beautiful black hair down to her waist, and a singing voice so deep and lustrous I couldn’t believe it. But most of all, of all her many attributes, was her sense of humor. F could make me laugh like no one else. She was and is the funniest friend I’ve ever had.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> <span> </span></o:p>Our friendship has lasted through the deaths of four parents, through the births of four sons (she has one, I have three), through career ups and downs, good moods and bad moods, weight losses and gains, mothering conundrums, and everything else one might expect. In the past we have had many, many meetings, shared vacations together, attended our sons’ weddings (her boy’s on Zoom just this Spring), shared illnesses including breast cancer for both of us, and so much more. There’s little that F doesn’t know about me, and I suspect little that I don’t know about her. We have guarded and treasured our secrets for decades.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span> </span>During the Covid-19 Pandemic, F and I have talked weekly on the phone, attended a weekly online chair yoga class together, and kept in touch with emails and text messages. We haven’t been able to meet in person, though, because of Covid worries and our concern for one another’s health and wellbeing. Nearly two hours apart, F has been in her “bubble” and I’ve been in mine, each of us burrowing into our own lives, but keeping our lines of communication open. A few times over the past few months F has mentioned to me that she’s getting worried about not getting out of the house enough. So, when I went on a trip upstate to check in on an elderly relative, I suggested that F and I meet in a parking lot just off the Thru-Way on my drive home. She agreed!<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span> </span>Last week, we stood six feet apart, no masks, outside, and basked in each other’s laughter. We shared funny stories, disappointments, problems, and triumphs. She showed me how long her now-gray hair has gotten—still thick and beautiful just as it was when she was nineteen years old. Our hearts were full of love as we stood under the sun on a breezy day, gratefully enjoying the real, live, vision of one another. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span> </span>It was in those moments that F came up with the title of this blog: The Year the Ordinary Became Wonderful. In truth, there has never been an “ordinary” moment that I’ve ever spent with F (even grocery shopping with F is an adventure; after all, she taught me how to make onion and mayonnaise sandwiches when the fridge was empty in college and we had the munchies at 3 a.m.). Our moments—and if you have a best friend you know what I mean—are always special.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">In the year 2020, however, nothing is taken for granted. Whether hugging our kids who live in distant cities, having tea with a neighbor, getting a haircut, or shopping in a store… we’ve all become aware of how unique, vital and blessed our no longer “ordinary moments” and human connections truly are. I look forward to the day when F and I can hug in person; in the meantime, I’ll treasure whatever wondrously "ordinary" gifts the Universe sends our way. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p>Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-3286134657332518242020-06-01T19:01:00.001-07:002022-04-03T07:46:29.128-07:00Long, Lost Friend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span face=""calibri" , sans-serif" style="color: #1d2228;">When my husband and I first bought a small house on a tiny property in New Jersey 30-plus years ago I had two main objectives: To get my hands in the soil and plant tomatoes, and to raise a family. I did both. But over the years I lost touch with the soil. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span face=""calibri" , sans-serif" style="color: #1d2228;"> When our three boys were little I spent hours in the backyard before cell phones and video games. The backyard was our refuge along with local parks; we had our own sand box and swing set and a glorious apple tree that succumbed to disease one year and a mulberry tree that fell over in a hurricane. The apple tree was the perfect place to search for a six-year-old who’d gone missing. I could always find him there or on the top of the two-car garage in the rear of the yard which we use to store junk since there is no pavement leading to it (now grown, this particular son likes indoor rock climbing).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span face=""calibri" , sans-serif" style="color: #1d2228;"> Our yard is less than a quarter of an acre, but from the onset it was filled with treasures, not the least of which was an expansive blackberry patch. When we first moved in from New York City, I had no idea what that pile of bramble was, and considered digging it up. Come May however, it burst into bloom, and every July since the delight of fresh blackberry pie outweighs the aggravation of summer baking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Our yard has been home to praying mantises (sadly, I don’t see them any more), cicadas, small snakes, slugs –particularly the year I planted zucchini—cardinals, bluejays, woodpeckers and many other birds. Woodchucks come and go, as does the occasional rabbit. My first year here I called my father wondering if there was a badger in the yard—he laughed at that idea. We’ve also had the occasional skunk and opossum. Deer have come to visit but only twice in 30 years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Every year I planted tomatoes (until recently) and one summer I planted lettuce, eggplant, cucumbers, broccoli and a pumpkin or two. We spent hours in the sandbox until the boys grew too big for it and I had a modest deck built instead. We have lilies of the valley, lilacs, violets and wild roses (one would think I live on an estate!). We have four pear trees—each producing a slightly different kind of pear. (One variety is so tiny the squirrels feast on the fruit before fully ripened, mischievously throwing the chewed remnants onto the deck below.) When the kids were little they filled toy wagons with the larger pears to distribute to the neighbors (with the warning to watch out for worms as they were never sprayed).<o:p></o:p></div>
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For years this yard was my haven, our place to play and swim in a plastic pool, to shoot water guns, blow bubbles, and run through the sprinkler, to dig and get our hands in the earth. And then one day the kids got too big and cool to play outside and their mom—aka me—retreated to my computer…where I’m sad to say, I remained for many, many years, only venturing into the yard from time to time to sit on the deck and sip a coffee, or to pick a few flowering sprigs. My husband mowed the lawn and trimmed the hedges (a bit grudgingly, I might add, since I'd agreed the yard would be <i>my</i> realm and responsibility).<o:p></o:p></div>
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This year during the pandemic it all changed. I was called by some primal force to return to my yard. I’ve spent hours during this time getting to know this old friend again…lamenting the loss of some of my former companions (the phlox have completely disappeared, and I detected only one white violet this spring), but miraculously discovering things I didn’t realize were there, like five small wild plum trees in a row that might have been mistaken for weeds had I been paying attention, but instead are now already three or four feet tall. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because I was in my yard this spring, I noticed that the ivy was taking over the blackberries so I cut it back and now will have a bumper crop of berries. I cleared one neglected area behind the deck and ordered packets of wildflower seeds which are now sprouting due to attentive watering. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because I’ve been home and not running about I noticed trees that needed pruning and called an arborist. The removal of dead branches gave way for new growth on the aging pear trees. The tiny sapling (a pine) I planted 30 years ago now towers high into the sky, and the ornamental plum tree I planted after the apple tree was felled has revived after a bout with some fungus. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This year, I’ve sat on my deck in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the early evening, listening to birds and watching the buds turn to leaves on the trees. My shoes have been caked with mud, my hands have been blistered from raking, and my back has ached each night as I’ve crawled into bed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve reunited with this yard as if it is a long, lost friend I haven’t seen in decades. Indeed, that’s exactly the case. And just like a dear old friend, my yard has welcomed me back into its arms, as if I’d never even left. I hope--as long as I'm on this earth--we will never be parted again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-76982118157454255692020-04-28T18:12:00.000-07:002020-04-28T18:12:26.335-07:00Peeps, Beans, and Other Surprises<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I meant to write this blog on Easter, but in the season of Covid-19 (I wish this was the name of a cocktail combining cognac and vodka instead of what it is) time got away from me. Or should I say there seems to be both a plethora of time and no time at all, apparently the result of following an altered routine that includes too many nights of interrupted sleep as well as too many naps.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My prose wanders, as the point of this blog was to write about jelly beans. This was the first in many years that I had none in the house on Easter Sunday. My father made a huge deal of having a jelly bean hunt every Easter and this was a tradition I carried on with my kids. He would sprinkle jelly beans up and down the stairs to my bedroom, and all around the house on window sills and chairs (needless to say some were indeed rather dusty). This never mattered to me, nor did it to my three sons who used to race around the house, elbowing and kicking each other to find all the bunny’s hiding places. My dad was famous in the family for this ritual.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the Jewish tradition, I’m told, there is also some searching for the hidden prize –a piece of matzo known as the afikomen. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyway. In the time of Covid-19 I did not think ahead to order or purchase any jelly beans and I found myself not only without my grown sons visiting (they still like a chocolate rabbit and a few beans strewn about), but also with nothing sweet to celebrate with except a package of Peeps (which I detest) that my husband had picked up at Aldi’s the day before the sheltering commenced. I usually dye Easter eggs as well, so in the early morning I scuffled into my basement searching for the plastic bag that contains my Easter decorations. Often, there are a few tablets of dye left over from the year before, but alas, the bag was nowhere to be found. I resorted to taking a gel pen to some brown eggs. The result was not impressive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But all was not lost! The point of the jelly bean hunt was not just to fill one’s basket with candy, but also to relish the feeling of surprise and delight when a bean was found in an unexpected place (in a shoe, for instance, or tucked into an empty coffee cup). Instead… Easter morning revealed that unbeknownst to me on a dusty shelf in the rear of my cellar there were three—yes, three—cans of Lysol. What a gift! This is a product that I would never willingly purchase under normal circumstances, and I have no idea where these cans came from. My hunch, however, is that one of my sons had them at college (have you ever stepped into a young man's dorm room?) and stashed them there on a visit home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Lysol! Poison in most circumstances in my opinion, but gold in a Covid crisis. Having no disinfectants in my home—and with the stores depleted of the stuff--this was truly a find.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Later in the day, my husband and I ventured into our backyard to pull weeds and rake some leaves. We spent several hours in the sun, enjoying the fresh air. Minutes after I came inside to make tea my husband followed, holding another treasure. Under a pine tree on the side of our house he had discovered a small green stone the shape of an egg. Again, my suspicion is that one of our kids had buried it there in bygone years and it had just made it to the surface. So, on Easter Sunday we <i>did</i> find an egg--though not a jelly bean (and certainly not edible). Nevertheless, we experienced the comforting delight of finding something pleasant or useful in an unexpected place.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Naturally, I segued in my mind from the Lysol cans and egg-shaped stone to other unexpected gifts that this horrid Covid experience has offered. I won’t recount them here, because I'm rather tired of Pollyanna-ish lists when so many are suffering. But I have heard of joy from many unexpected quarters…I have also heard from a number of folks who are treasuring their time at home with family, and that they are re-thinking many things, and planning for a brighter, more authentic future.<o:p></o:p></div>
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You never really know where you might find a jelly bean.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-40710176418142938242020-03-20T12:21:00.000-07:002020-03-20T12:21:13.821-07:00Something's Fishy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A few weeks ago, before the world turned upside down, I noticed that I was running around a lot. My comings and goings had become so intense that one day, looking around my living room at all my coats, scarves and sweaters thrown on chairs, boots and shoes by the doorway, and piles of papers on the table, I actually began talking to my goldfish in despair. (Truthfully, my son’s goldfish, but we’ve been Arnold’s adoptive parents for many years now.) From his tank, I felt almost as if our goldfish was wagging his fin at me…giving me a sign of sorts…warning in his fishy way, that I needed—nay, that I would soon be <i>forced</i>—to slow down.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It occurred to me in that prescient moment that Arnold the fish must wonder what the hell I’ve been so busy doing. He must have been thinking: “Why is the door constantly, slamming open and shut? Why does this couple disappear for days at a time (causing me to miss a few of my regular meals), and why do they move so swiftly in and out of the house, constantly in a rush? Why is she always searching for her keys or losing her sneakers under the table?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I thought to myself in that moment, that Arnold --who habitually swims leisurely during the day and retires to the bottom left hand corner of the tank every night at around 9 p.m. to sleep until 7 a.m.-- must think I’m nuts. “Yes, Arnold,” I said aloud, “we <i>are</i> running around a lot. Your life actually makes a lot more sense than ours sometimes.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well! Little did I know that just two weeks later Arnold and I would be so simpatico. Now, the door opens only twice during the day; when my husband goes out to take his run, and when I step out to take my walk. The clutter is gradually disappearing from the living room. There are a lot of hours when Arnold and I are together: he’s nearby when I roll out my yoga mat, when I read my books, even when I turn on the news. We’re spending many, many quality hours together, Arnold, my husband, and I. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Arnold has been swimming in his tank for close to ten years. Universe willing, we won’t be confined for that long! But my fish is a beautiful reminder that life doesn’t <i>have</i> to move at such a fast pace. In fact, as we adjust to all the myriad changes this unwanted virus has brought to our days, I rather envy Arnold; for him, life goes on as per usual--quite swimmingly, as he might say.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-55799953032147855062020-02-14T12:40:00.002-08:002020-02-14T16:18:32.372-08:00The White Rose<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It’s said that you can’t change anyone, but people <i>do </i>change. Decades ago, for instance, I was a young lady working in Manhattan. On my way home from my office in midtown, often after 7 p.m., I might stop at the local liquor store and pick up a bottle of wine, then stand in my strappy high heels waiting for the light to change on 171st Street, and light up a cigarette. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My husband was a classical street musician. With his quintet, he played for cash strewn into an open instrument case in front of a store on Fifth Avenue. We were often “ships passing in the night,” and in those long-ago days, my main concern was my career at a magazine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I wasn’t a nasty woman (I was especially kind to my aging parents, whom I adored). But I wasn’t exactly easy to live with. My mate (a very private dude), was highly critical of my behavior; he was judgmental, and didn’t smoke, drink, or dance (aside from an occasional waltz). Our marriage was rocky; it crashed up on the rocks now and then but miraculously survived.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Flash forward a few decades: I’m a yoga teacher, my husband is a successful musician, and we’re the parents of three grown sons. Rarely do we argue, though we sometimes disagree. Because of my New Age-y pastime, I routinely do things that the husband of yore would have scorned. Just the other night, for instance, I was awaiting a visit from some angels (having signed up for an angel visit via an angel chain letter too complex to explain here) and I was setting up my altar in preparation. I’d had a busy day, and didn’t have time to obtain the requisite white flower to welcome the beings. I bemoaned this fact aloud.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I’ll get the flower for you,” my husband volunteered. “What kind would you like?”<br />
“Any white flower will do,” I said gratefully. He sprinted off to the local florist and returned with a lovely white rose.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At precisely 10:30 p.m. that night I was supposed to let the angels in the front door. (Yes, that sounds nuts, but can you actually <i>prove</i> that angels can fly through metal?) <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Are you coming up to bed?” my husband asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Um…I have to do something first.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Oh, that’s right.” He smiled conspiratorially and headed up the stairs without further comment.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Throughout the years, my husband and I have both changed. We learned how to parent, though we were clueless when our first child was born. We learned to fight, and we learned to forgive. We fought off cancer and grieved the death of parents; we watched two kids get married. We learned to laugh <i>with </i>instead of <i>at </i>one another (well, mostly!) and to accept each other’s likes/dislikes with tolerance instead of nasty derision (he: Mel Brooks/pop music; me: angels/anchovies…among other things). In my wildest dreams I never could have imagined the easygoing man he has become, and in his wildest hallucinations he would never have conjured up a mantra-chanting Kundalini yoga teacher.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The critical young musician I married would have said angels were a crock. That snarky girl on the corner would have heartily agreed. Clearly, we’ve both evolved, but what matters most is not whether my mate believes in angels (doubtful) but whether he honors <i>my </i>belief. His respectful offer of the white rose tells me he does. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Often, we insist that the traits that most annoy us about our beloved will never change, but life <i>itself</i> is change, so why be so sure? Happy Valentine’s Day to all, and may your love grow deeper, wiser, and more surprising each day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-8299090595552571532019-08-31T12:07:00.001-07:002019-08-31T12:07:29.772-07:00September<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Have you ever heard a woman complain that the days of pregnancy passed too swiftly? I know I haven’t. For me, the days of pregnancy (three times) were interminable. But then the baby comes and time speeds up. And one amazing day, the baby gets married (this happened very recently in my family). Alas, the old cliché: where did the time go?<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s a conundrum I’ve been grappling with lately: How to slow time down? Apparently, there are a few methods, like meditating (a good one) or living a boring life (I can’t imagine how the latter would be possible, but I do know people who say they are bored and that time seems to drag). I wouldn’t recommend this approach, however, and can’t even figure out how it might work.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Just maybe, living in an extremely cold climate would help make time stand still; I know, for instance, that even though the days are shorter, they can seem agonizingly endless during a bout of bad winter weather. Still, this incentive would not be enough to get me to move to, ahem, Greenland.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At this time of year on the East coast in particular, I’m always reminded of how fast time travels. At the end of summer, I can never believe how swiftly the warm season has passed. On Labor Day, it seems as if only yesterday it was Summer Solstice (unless, of course, one has kids who are antsy to get back to school and summer has gone on for far too long). I remember my mother listening to Willie Nelson’s soulful rendition of “September.” The thought of her tears every time she heard that song brings <i>me </i>to tears even decades later.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a kid, I spent endless afternoons on particular time-expanding pursuits, and I wonder if perhaps I should try some of them now. A favorite was to recline on the living room rug and gaze up at the ceiling, imagining that it was the floor. I was fascinated by the fact that the ceiling/floor could be so uncluttered, making the room seem exceptionally spacious. On the empty ceiling there were no coffee tables, chairs, or couches, no magazines, books, or clutter of any kind. I felt an infinite expansiveness just staring up at the empty, flat space. So maybe…fast forward to adulthood…I would feel time slowing a bit if I could just get rid of some clutter and lay flat on my back.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Another activity was naming my marbles. Yes, I know this sounds odd…but I whiled away many an hour in an altered state while taping monikers on my voluminous collection (I may have named some rocks, too, though I can’t swear to this). Clearly, the names didn’t last—they fell off after a few rolls. But that didn’t seem to matter. This mind-numbing activity made a day last like an eternity, and I thoroughly enjoyed it even though the names—Catsy, Sparkle, Greenie—were pretty lame.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I suppose if I splayed out on the floor all day now or sat with a pile of marbles, my grown kids and husband might call a family meeting. So, I’ll stick to meditation—which seems to help, as does being “present” and avoiding winding thought-paths into past or future. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Still, I sense that time is speeding up and a “slow pill” sounds enticing. If only September—truly, my favorite month-- could go on…and on… forever. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-44752112026472146972019-05-31T07:03:00.000-07:002019-05-31T07:11:08.705-07:00Summer Reading<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I’m half way through this fantastic novel—perfect for summer beach reading! So many interesting characters, and such intrigue! Wait…<i>what?</i> This is not fiction??? Omg! <o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t care if you’re left handed or right handed, using your left brain or your right brain, or if you’re left or right winged politically. If you’re Republican no doubt you’ll conclude that this unbelievable tale is indeed that—unbelievable. And if you’re a Democrat no doubt you’ll think, ahah, now it all makes sense. But whatever your political label (and even if you don’t have one) The Mueller Report is worth your attention. I see reading this tome as my civic duty—and surely this should be mandatory reading for everyone in the government—yes, all 400-plus pages. We require our school children to read over the summer—so why not our Congressional representatives and Senators? (Actually <i>they'd</i> better get reading <i>right now</i>.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know you have better things to do (and read). You could play hopscotch, do the laundry, or just close your eyes, relax, and wait for the movie. But in the family in which I grew up, news was taken seriously, and no one ever heard of it being “fake.” In fact, I’m quite certain that my fascination with the Mueller report links genetically back to my father’s obsession with the Congressional Record. I can still see him—in his retirement years—sitting in his favorite chair next to his lamp with a copy of the latest Congressional Record in his hands. I don’t know how he got these things (there was no internet back then)…but got them he did. After his passing, there were boxes and boxes of the Congressional Record left behind in a spare room upstairs.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We also subscribed to two newspapers—one for the morning, and one for the evening, from which my parents often read excerpts aloud (sadly, they mostly shared gruesome stories about kids skating on unfrozen ponds or driving drunk…the paper was used not only as a source for current events, but as a learning tool). Back then, newsmen (and the few newswomen) were respected and revered.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My father was a Republican and a Nixon man, but I am quite certain he would be “fit to be tied” over what’s going on now. (The word “sex” was never uttered in our home—let alone the word “porn” or “porn star.”) Even so, I know for sure if Dad were here today he’d be reading The Mueller Report—from start to finish. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This popular argument that Americans can’t and won’t read, I believe, is not only disheartening but untrue. Exhibit One: <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i>. It wasn’t so long ago that Americans were virtually unable to put that book down. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, reach for the latest Elin Hildebrand summer beach read if you must. But first, give Mr. Mueller a try (he <i>is </i>gray, after all, and the story he tells <i>is </i>shady). It’s only ten bucks (or free, if you download it somewhere and there’s even a large-print edition) and will keep you engaged (angered, saddened, amused, disgusted, horrified, frustrated, etc.) for hours. Fix yourself an iced tea (or perhaps a stiff scotch), and open to page one. Ah…the joys of summer reading!<o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-30747381360164458592018-12-29T17:18:00.001-08:002018-12-29T17:18:40.172-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
My Beautiful Gift to Me</div>
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This Christmas, I gave myself a gift. It didn’t come in a box. It didn’t come in a gift bag. It wasn’t even wrapped. It came in my thoughts, or rather, in the absence of thoughts. My gift to myself was the promise that I would not be thwarted: I would enjoy the happiness of the present moment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This meant that I did not allow myself to turn on the news, to be lured by headlines on my computer, or to give voice to my political opinions. This had nothing to do with “keeping the peace” at the dinner table, as all of my guests were on the same page politically this year, anyway. Rather, it had to do with not succumbing to the tantalizing magnetism of toxic thoughts in my own mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The lack of drama was refreshing! I focused on cranberry sauce and stocking stuffers instead of the Mueller report or who will run for President in 2019. An eerie peacefulness settled around me as I relinquished my newly acquired cable news stations and ignored The Huffington Post. I had calm conversations with my now grown children that involved eye contact and had nothing to do with he who shall not be named. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the course of enjoying my gift over several days I felt less stress than I have in months (perhaps, actually, in two years), even though December is a high-stress month. Instead of listening to the radio while I drove to various stores to shop, I turned up my favorite mantra CD and felt as though I was floating through traffic on a fluffy cloud. No loud voices ranted about walls. No snarky rebuttals. No threats or proclamations of blame. It was damned lovely.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course, as the holidays wane I know I’ll return to my natural state of news junkie. But maybe not with quite the same level of devotion. Giving up the news felt a bit like quitting smoking (which I did many years ago). It brought a sense of breathing freely, a lightness, a realization that <i>I </i>create my day—my life is not owned by anyone else. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Ah, peace of mind. Such a lovely present. And it didn’t cost a dime. Come to think of it, my birthday is coming up and now I know precisely what I will give myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-2473250415186641672018-10-29T07:31:00.001-07:002018-10-29T07:31:14.549-07:00Give Me...Shelter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As a child, one of my favorite activities was stealing out to the dogwood trees in my backyard. I spent hours there sweeping the dirt floors of my imaginary “house” and straightening my various “possessions:” rocks, twigs, feathers, etc. The trees flowered above my head in the spring; they quietly dropped their leaves in the fall, and in the icy winters, the trees gracefully bent over a crusty surface upon which to slide and slip. The best time of all was summer, when both mornings and afternoons seemed endless and the trees provided a cool, shady hideout, blue jays cawing and swooping across the blue sky above. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Why do I think of those trees now? In the world we are in, I sometimes feel that I need a place to hide. In fact, just today I looked outside and noticed how much one tree (in my current backyard) had grown, with a perfect space underneath for creating a pine-tent. Now, at my seasoned age it might be weird to take up residence under a tree, sweeping away the pinecones, spending hours absent from my laptop, iPhone, books, and Smart TV. And yet, it looks so enticing. The idea of living under a tree, pretending its boughs are my roof and walls, seems like an excellent concept. Never mind that I’m a bit too tall now for this sort of space, and that I have an aversion to mosquitoes (which didn’t seem to bother me much when I was a kid—back then spiders, ants, beetles and other such creatures, with the exception perhaps of wasps, were endlessly fascinating).<o:p></o:p></div>
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But if I <i>did </i>take up residence under that tree, and started sweeping the dirt floor for hours, my neighbors would no doubt call the police, and my husband might become rather worried (especially since I don’t sweep much in my own kitchen). No doubt they would think there was something “wrong” with me, and wouldn’t immediately “get” that I was under the tree not because I had <i>lost </i>my sanity, but because I had found it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m aware that there are more socially acceptable ways to escape from reality (and from the world’s cruelties). One can drink alcohol, smoke weed, do yoga, ski, dance, chant, read <i>Middlemarch </i>again, go to a movie, hike, embroider, or call a friend, for instance. Some of these, in fact, I have tried with some success (no, I won’t tell you which ones!). But when I think back on my life, the dogwood trees always come to mind. Under their branches I lost all track of time, I lost all worries, all fears, all thoughts of the future. I felt protected, secure, and happy. I felt nothing could, or would, ever, ever go wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are very few places anymore, in these times, where we can recreate the carefree security of the past, or even the illusion of it. Today, our children can’t even feel safe at school. We aren’t safe in our churches, mosques, gurdwaras, or synagogues, in a mall, at an airport, in a movie theatre, in a grocery store, at a concert, in our offices, or anywhere, really. We aren’t safe if we are gay, if we are black, if we are a politician, if we are a news reporter, if we are Jewish, Muslim, too poor, too rich, too old, or too young. We aren’t safe in our cars (especially if they are fancy), or in our strollers. We are not safe in numbers, and we are certainly not safe if we are female and alone. We might <i>think </i>we’re safe if we own a gun, but we can’t shoot away cancer, a tsunami, or the stench of hate.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And…I’m probably not safe if I sit for hours under that pine tree, either. But it’s a place where I can pretend that I am. And so, I <i>am </i>going to grab my broom and head out there. Yes, it might seem odd. But—unless there’s a lightning storm—under a tree seems as good a place as any to imagine that the world is the peaceful, loving, compassionate, safe place that I deeply want it to be. Under that tree I can think back to a time when—even in a city-- we rarely locked our doors. Just imagine. It was possible once. Why can’t it be now?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-73333995595945557172018-04-11T17:40:00.000-07:002018-04-11T17:40:37.442-07:00Bad News, Good News<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We’ve all heard the common saying, “No news is good news.” These days, there is no such thing as “no news.” Whether the news is good, bad, fake, or boring, it’s everywhere. There is no place to hide.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Each morning when I begin my workday, I first check my laptop. I’m immediately accosted by all kinds of news, much of it horrifying. The terrifying items jump out as I scroll swiftly down my newsfeed, searching for something that won’t cause my stomach to clench and my heart to drop, but often finding only death, violence, and of course, politics.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was actually raised on bad news, so I’m familiar with scary journalism (and it didn’t keep me from wanting to be newspaper reporter, either, which was my very first “real” job). When I was a child, I clearly remember my parents reading snippets from the newspaper aloud. We subscribed to a morning and an evening paper, so there were plenty of articles to discuss. My parents, who tended to lean toward negativity, would often remark, “Little John Smith, this says here, drowned in the pond yesterday.” Or, “Betty Myers passed away last Sunday. She was poisoned when she ate some bad turkey.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yes, they loved to recount such tales; in fact, I believe they were intended to scare me so that I wouldn’t be tempted to skate on thin ice or eat food that wasn’t properly cooked. But in spite of the generous dose of bad news I received each day as a kid, it was nothing… <i>nothing </i>compared to what I consume now as an adult. And though I miss my parents dearly, in some ways I am thankful that –news junkies that they were—they’re not alive to suffer the astonishing glut of bad news stories we experience now.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course, there are ways around this, and I employ some of them. One is to take a media break, and simply refuse to listen to or read the stories. Another is to pick and choose carefully. Or simply to harden one’s heart (which actually is not simple at all).<o:p></o:p></div>
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But I prefer to know what’s going on in the world, and much like my parents, I’m curious and concerned about current events. Due to technology, however, we no longer are exposed just to little John Smith from down the road, but to all the horrors and mishaps that occur everywhere, all over the world, constantly, at every second.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sometimes, I wish my morning newsfeed would announce, “40 billion flowers bloomed today!” or “Six million children were just born without birth defects!” Or “A zillion people just fell in love!” I guess that’s silly, and some might even argue that life would be dull without <i>some </i>bad news now and then. I'd be willing to try it, though. Wouldn't you? <o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-50350643272476809002018-04-09T10:12:00.000-07:002018-04-09T11:38:17.512-07:00For Love of Reading<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A little bird told me it’s National Library Week. This got me thinking about how much I adore books and reading. Recently, I came across the name of an author I’d never read (yes, there are many, but I was surprised that I had no memory of ever hearing this author’s name). The name is Mazo De La Roche, a Canadian author who lived from 1869 to 1961. I was mystified, so I found her first book at the library, <i>The Building of Jalna</i>, from a series of 16.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Although the books were written long ago (and for some, the style might seem a bit dated), I was hooked. In fact, I was so hooked that once I started the series, I was obsessed with finding the next book. Some were not available at the library, so I turned to online booksellers, where I found I could order all the books in digital format for Kindle. Unfortunately, I don’t own a Kindle...so I proceeded to order the books hard copy, one by one as I read them, some used, some reprints. When there was a lapse between their arrival, I awaited the next book anxiously…thrilled when the next installment appeared in my mailbox!<o:p></o:p></div>
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My favorite author of all time is Jane Austen, but my beloved Jane published only six novels (all of which I’ve read numerous times). Mazo De La Roche reminds me a bit of Austen (though no one will ever replace Mr. Darcy), with a dashing male lead named Renny, and plenty of love, romance, and family lore. The books take readers from Adeline Court ("of Ireland") and her husband Captain Philip Whiteoak ("of the British army") arriving in Canada from India through the generations. I’m now on the 13<sup>th</sup>book (alas only three more to go), with the plot focused on Adeline’s grandchildren and great grandchildren.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Not every reader would love these books as I do (but plenty have, as Mazo was quite popular in her day and the books have sold millions of copies). If you’re a fan of mysteries, action plots, or explicit sex you probably won’t see what I’m so excited about. But the books speak directly to my heart: they’re about family connection, about falling in love, and about a sense of place. Her characters are unforgettable. Here’s just one line from book number 13, <i>Return To Jalna</i>, about a grown man named Finch (who was introduced as a baby), walking the road from the train station to the family home after a long absence abroad: “Yet he was scarcely alone, for with him walked, ran, trudged, or loitered, the many selves of his childhood and boyhood who had traversed this road.” I was touched by this feeling I know so well of my childhood self always being with me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Discovering these books has been like finding the pot of literary gold at the end of the rainbow. They’ve reminded me of how much heart and soul can be found within the pages of a book. They’ve reminded me of why I read.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My only regret is that my mother is no longer here to share these books with, as I know she would have loved them (prior to her death, she was hooked on the Mitford series). My mother and I had precisely the same taste in books, and though I’ve tried to “sell” Mazo to a few friends, no one has taken the bait. Reading is so personal! Nevertheless, I had to share my newfound love on my blog. And if there are books in Heaven (and if there <i>is</i> a Heaven!) I just know my mother is reading the Jalna series. In fact for me, reading is a perfect example of Heaven on earth.<o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-61940787691774559902018-02-11T10:39:00.001-08:002018-02-11T10:39:45.497-08:00Lost & Found<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sometime last year, I lost my desire to write this blog
anymore. But this morning, I woke up and found it again. It occurred to me that
life is just one big lost and found; we lose something, we find something, we
carry on either way.</div>
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Last year I lost some things that I really wanted to keep. A
friend I met on our very first day of Kindergarten, who has been like a sister
to me ever since, moved away. For decades our paths have traveled side by side;
we lived around the corner from one another in upstate New York as children,
then we lived up the block from one another in Manhattan, and eventually we
both moved to New Jersey and lived in parallel towns. Her move was a good one
for her—to a place up north that she has always loved. But it left me with an
emptiness.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A few months later, the husband of another dear friend died,
a man I have known for many years. Although this man, with his far-right-wing
politics, often drove me nuts, his absence on the planet feels wrong. It
feels like, and is, a loss.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last week, my youngest son moved out to an apartment. This
was the icing on the proverbial cake of loss, because I have so enjoyed having
him home after his years at college. But it’s time for him to move on, and I
understand that. Empty nest syndrome, however, is a real and difficult passage.
I went through it once when he left for school, and now I must go through it
again. At least, this time, he has left me his pet fish (at least, temporarily!). <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m aware that everyone has loss in their lives and that
some losses are huge and can never, ever be filled. I “lost” both my parents
decades ago, and there is no way of ever retrieving them, except in memory. And
I do try to look on the bright side; for instance, the loss of my son in
my daily life also means I have more space, more solitude, and more freedom. And
though I have lost some things this year, I’ve found others. I’ve found a new
place to teach yoga, I’ve found a new courage to travel, and I’ve found a way
to get on Route 4 (a road in NJ I’ve avoided for years) and drive without
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
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Long ago, another friend taught me the prayer of St. Anthony: “Good Saint Anthony, come around, something’s lost and must be found.” This
works quite well for car keys and earrings, but not so much for friends and
family who have moved on or moved out. But I realize that when we lose some
things, we often find other things of great value, and if we wallow in the losses
we close ourselves off to new experiences. Regardless of what we lose and what
we find, however, there is something that must never go missing: Acceptance. Without it, we can neither let go of what must leave, nor embrace the unknown gifts that will come next.<o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-42633229561919475472017-03-11T14:55:00.000-08:002017-03-12T17:50:36.580-07:00Word<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDhgXbO5IFhjQ_IaAhrszbV02pcgUfI2zW-XsjX7O1d15Ze1MzI7H36zYdC_4YLKYwewysfHglSahHwMaVAbnuKhSDpdWWDYB7t-3yA_qlL089zt_xF3DhsM-wAcoJt-850lLjqz-sf00/s1600/word+picture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDhgXbO5IFhjQ_IaAhrszbV02pcgUfI2zW-XsjX7O1d15Ze1MzI7H36zYdC_4YLKYwewysfHglSahHwMaVAbnuKhSDpdWWDYB7t-3yA_qlL089zt_xF3DhsM-wAcoJt-850lLjqz-sf00/s320/word+picture.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I always wanted to write. Since the age of five, writing was
my passion, and though I was very interested in creative writing, I was later
drawn to journalism and reporting. To me, journalism was a form of service--offering
to the public, to the community, facts that would help people live their lives safely
and knowledgeably. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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When I was nine, I started a newspaper on my upstate New
York street (if memory serves, it was called the Gillespie Street Times, but I
can’t swear to that). For a very brief period (because play eventually won out)
I interviewed neighbors, collected data, and kept track of all the comings and
goings (lost cats, pot holes, kickball games, etc.) My self-appointed job was
to be accurate, because no reporter wants to be called into an editor’s office due
to misleading statements or inaccuracies (though I was my own editor back
then, and I sure didn't have an office!).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In high school I signed up for journalism. We learned to
report on who, why, what, where, when, and sometimes, how. We threw spitballs and made squirrel
noises at a teacher we didn’t adore when she turned her back to scribble
on the blackboard. Another teacher we revered—he introduced us to coffee and
motorcycles and insisted that our stories were factual, lucid, and significant.
We went out into the field, gathering experiences, information and facts based
on observation and interviews with credible sources. We were only in high
school, yet we had begun to realize that some “real” reporters risked their
lives for facts, traveled to war-torn countries, and put their lives on the
line for the truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Onto college, where I volunteered for the college newspaper
(for no credit, out of passion for truth). I spent long nights in the newspaper
office, walking or biking home alone at 5 a.m. after the newspaper was “put to
bed.” I was in love not only with the cute boy who wrote headlines, but also with
words, truth, and accuracy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I graduated and got a job as a reporter at a community newspaper.
I worked and wrote nonstop: Meetings, deadlines, stories due the next morning
after a town board or school board session that ended at 2 a.m. I always got
quotes from both sides, reported the pros and cons, and checked my facts. No
reporter wants to have to print a retraction or correction. (And btw, I was
paid a pittance.) <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Later, writing for magazines, I continued to deal with facts.
I interviewed experts (including Mr. Rogers—on the phone!). I answered to fact-checkers,
editors, and copy editors. Every detail was checked and rechecked. Even a
simple piece about diapers or toys brought out fact checkers galore. Readers
may not always know how long and nit-picky is the process to ensure that
information is correct. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some go to grad school--or to combat zones--to study to become better writers, reporters,
to become investigative reporters, to learn how to interview well and write
clearly. When these paths are demeaned, when those who seek to write and speak truth
are maligned, a dangerous door is opened. Disparaging the media is a calculated
step to create a confused and untrusting populace that can easily be
manipulated. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Words have power. Words have meaning. Words can maim or
heal. By far, most journalists write or report not to harm, betray, or confuse,
but to inform, help, and clarify.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ve devoted my working life to words. Whether written or
spoken, words matter. And like the sun, the truth always rises—quite often, due
to the devotion and hard work of journalists. Yes, there are a few bad eggs
(and a few mediocre news stations). But the vast majority of journalists
respect and strive for truth and accuracy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Don’t just “believe me.” You can fact-check me on that.<o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-1439242418155402162017-01-05T14:01:00.001-08:002017-01-05T14:01:18.361-08:00A Matter of Perspective<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihyphenhyphen9dN49xOkQ04SKX81d1jNZAoKHcJ_rZp1co9zRt_28zIsuh0DAeyXHe11Oz6sSPOkw2Ii-9VtC4Pe6cQDBfD5_Ch5VQWxAVgjgiesKFUXG2Y0PjpJ-q2hS2-Bxpfe24O84WUKuTHGQY/s1600/puddle+to+use.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihyphenhyphen9dN49xOkQ04SKX81d1jNZAoKHcJ_rZp1co9zRt_28zIsuh0DAeyXHe11Oz6sSPOkw2Ii-9VtC4Pe6cQDBfD5_Ch5VQWxAVgjgiesKFUXG2Y0PjpJ-q2hS2-Bxpfe24O84WUKuTHGQY/s320/puddle+to+use.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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When I was a kid, I loved seeing the world upside down. One
of my favorite pastimes was to recline on my living room floor and stare up at
the ceiling. From this perspective, the ceiling became the floor, and one had
to step up over the door archways to get from room to room. My cluttered
Victorian childhood home seemed incredibly neat and spacious from this upside
down vantage point. I could spend hours just contentedly gazing while my mom
dusted nearby or watched her afternoon soaps.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I also loved to gaze into puddles at the reflected sky. It
was endlessly entertaining to stomp my feet in a puddle and watch the ripples spread
across the reflected clouds. This pastime sometimes led to unexpected
adventure. Once, my best friend and I, on our way home from school on a windy
April day, decided not only to gaze at a giant puddle but to splash our way
into the deep middle and purposely fall on our knees. Cold, wet, and giggling,
we then ran home to tell my mother we had “accidentally fallen,” change into warm
clothes, and treat ourselves to hot chocolate and marshmallows.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I also loved gazing through the stained glass window on the
stairwell. The yard below took on otherworldly qualities, depending upon the
green, blue, or red pane. Another favorite resting spot (in the summer) was to
relax on a small incline on the front yard (back then it seemed like a hill). From
here I could gaze directly up into the leaves of three towering maple trees,
where I could imagine all sorts of fairies and animal shapes in the leaves.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The other day, out on a walk, I came across a few puddles
and stopped with my camera. The experience brought back a rush of memory and
emotion, thinking not just of how easily entertained I was in my childhood, but
also of how willing and ready I was to look at the world from different vantage
points. Today, I have my set opinions, political views, and habits; I’m less
likely to ponder something from another’s perspective, or from the perspective
of a rabbit or bird, for that matter. I see things straight ahead from my 5’3
vantage point, with my glasses or contacts on, and with plenty of thoughts and judgments
spinning about in my mind. I’ve become less willing to splash and muddy my
clothes in a cold, wet puddle, that’s for sure.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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However…when I go to yoga class, sometimes I relish the
headstand (or as we say in Iyengar yoga, head balance pose), or the handstand.
Though I can’t stay up for long, I always feel energized, revitalized and
strong when I come down. I guess these inversions are my grown up way of still
playing with perspective. If I can stand on my head, all is not lost. I’m still
able to see the world upside down--in a good way, that is, with fascination
rather than fear, and with trust that I have the power to return to upright
whenever I choose. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidDnmEDBF4C8ZdEzYdqqP1ysMQMGarDH2vd-QuOMlfnwLxe2z5avkpvuhNA7bT2xZsvSZpQmERzjalrjJkgoENx1KWgWzyR5aNrZekh5Vaz-8ZmmnQwD-Ph3PvKde2jUQp_-f0Rg10bRY/s1600/puddle+two.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidDnmEDBF4C8ZdEzYdqqP1ysMQMGarDH2vd-QuOMlfnwLxe2z5avkpvuhNA7bT2xZsvSZpQmERzjalrjJkgoENx1KWgWzyR5aNrZekh5Vaz-8ZmmnQwD-Ph3PvKde2jUQp_-f0Rg10bRY/s320/puddle+two.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-77321212869894452292016-12-14T10:37:00.003-08:002016-12-14T10:37:42.711-08:00The Joy Of...Serving<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9zufXa_dmkpGDX3bR4KksHo0XrXTqRmUW1T0dkwAX-09305_ax9JJ5wWMbvhAyOMq8mljK8vZ0oD48-HwK2Me7dkOHvf61iXNZLOWXOHzFFdTxHmwOJJAotVz82FTxrzAQsLpBxbWXF8/s1600/xmas+flowers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9zufXa_dmkpGDX3bR4KksHo0XrXTqRmUW1T0dkwAX-09305_ax9JJ5wWMbvhAyOMq8mljK8vZ0oD48-HwK2Me7dkOHvf61iXNZLOWXOHzFFdTxHmwOJJAotVz82FTxrzAQsLpBxbWXF8/s320/xmas+flowers.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This year, due to a lingering minor illness, I faced the
possibility that I would not be able to make Christmas dinner at my house. The
idea of not hosting the annual December family feast sent terror racing through
my veins. Not make Christmas dinner? Unthinkable!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I remember a year when my mother (who passed 15 years ago,
and whose Christmas dinner I have loyally replicated every year since), had injured her
back and was bedridden during the holiday. My father hung and angled a mirror
on the bedroom door so that she could see our reflection in the dining room from
her nearby prone position, and I’m sure (though I don’t exactly recall) that
many of us spent a lot of time in my parents’ bedroom that holiday season. I
know she was frustrated and saddened by the development, but the celebrations
went on and my sister and other family members made the dinner happen. It was a
Christmas my mother never forgot, and never wanted to repeat!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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More than a decade ago, I received a breast cancer diagnosis
just before Christmas. Though I was frightened and distracted, that was one
of the most memorable holidays of my life. I distinctly remember making the
cranberry sauce that year, reveling in the brilliant red of the berries,
feeling the small, colorful orbs between my fingers as I washed them. I clearly remember
the faces of my family that year around the table, their expressions of concern
and love. The mere thought that this might be my last Christmas with them
(thank God it was not) made every moment and every ritual more significant.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Often, come December, I find myself complaining about all
the work that needs to be done, the shopping for gifts and food, the cleaning
of the house, the decorating and preparations, card-sending, and dealing with
traffic and lines at the store. It’s easy to fall into a negative mindset, even
while looking forward to spending time with my beloveds.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But when threatened with an illness or when some other
complication puts the honor of serving in jeopardy, I’m reminded again of how
much my mother loved—and how much I love—to provide. There is true joy in
serving (whether you serve at a soup kitchen or in your own home). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The specter of the day when I will be forced to scale back or
cancel some of our traditions makes ‘keeping up’ as long as I can all the more
crucial! (I recall my mom doggedly making multiple trips to the grocery store
in her later years, hell-bent on doing all the shopping herself even though it
was a struggle for her to carry the bags home). This season underscores the
truism that to love and care for others is the greatest gift of all: As the
sacred prayer so rightly asserts, “For it is in giving that we receive." Happy Holidays to all! </div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-74345737336098526612016-09-13T08:39:00.001-07:002016-09-13T08:41:37.704-07:00Summer's End<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl5iClHwbQ0RKxAb7zbnzqnelkeoDF41tBsvJ8j8OHmHP4v8dc_NfebBPVlCyYxtH7beeaOtisDF0yL_EtuTI30P_iOyJTh208QNRtj50AUxUTof7of82My7wEWT_mxZr_b1nUZie-w-w/s1600/baby+two.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl5iClHwbQ0RKxAb7zbnzqnelkeoDF41tBsvJ8j8OHmHP4v8dc_NfebBPVlCyYxtH7beeaOtisDF0yL_EtuTI30P_iOyJTh208QNRtj50AUxUTof7of82My7wEWT_mxZr_b1nUZie-w-w/s320/baby+two.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
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The other day, a friend commented to me that she was very
sorry to see summer end. It had been a great summer for her, filled with
travel, fun, and relaxation. For me, however, the summer of 2016 has been
challenging, tiring, hot, scary, and downright un-enjoyable in many ways. I’m
not sorry to see it end, though there were also moments and days when I felt
blessed, lucky, and filled with joy and gratitude. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This was, for me, a summer that did not go as planned. In
fact, I decided in June that I would stop making any plans at all because
everything I conjured up was somehow blocked. I did not spend countless hours
on my deck reading books and meditating. My “vacation” at the lake with family
was spent tending to my eldest son, who was healing from surgery. I made it to
the town pool exactly once. The tomatoes I planted in my backyard yielded not
even one tomato. I never made it to the beach. I didn’t get to drive south to
visit my sister. My hanging plants wilted and collapsed from lack of watering
early on in the season. After a short yoga retreat I attended in the
countryside, I ended up with a serious eye infection. And so on! This was
definitely not the summer of my dreams! Nothing really worked out the way I
envisioned.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And yet, as you can see from this picture, I’m still
standing and smiling (a little!). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
grateful that my worst fears and worries did not come true, and that even
though my tomatoes crapped out on me, my friends and family did not. I realize
that we can’t all be happy and have everything go swimmingly all the time; we
learn from failure, mistakes, and even from tragedy. We also learn that we can’t plan and control
everything, that life takes us on unexpected journeys, that we may intend to go
right and find that we are suddenly forced to turn left, that we want to stay up
when the powers that be determine our direction will be down.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-iR65HbRCJaYOWAdUrXi5ubr_q5v0e40KJx-1gZevE_czMEi8N-lfVa475f499rOlnm-MjVxYskVd9x1CJ9r9xwsGp1FGaKcYy-_21VP8VRbe1IUNdshh__bHwCVXUE8W6E85cI59Zyc/s1600/kathy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-iR65HbRCJaYOWAdUrXi5ubr_q5v0e40KJx-1gZevE_czMEi8N-lfVa475f499rOlnm-MjVxYskVd9x1CJ9r9xwsGp1FGaKcYy-_21VP8VRbe1IUNdshh__bHwCVXUE8W6E85cI59Zyc/s320/kathy.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This summer reminded me a bit of days long ago when my kids
were toddlers. I recall planning productive afternoons—a trip to the park, the
bank, grocery shopping, followed by story reading and naps. On so many
occasions my plans were thwarted by the indomitable will of a two-year-old, who
suddenly decided he would <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>put on
his shoes, he would <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> eat his
breakfast, or he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">would</i> spend the next
three hours poking at moss with a stick.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This is life, and whether summer brought you more of the highs or more of the lows, we’re all in this churning stew together. Anyway, autumn is my favorite
season. May it be a good one for all!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-74581041777702578342016-06-11T14:53:00.002-07:002016-06-11T18:01:49.532-07:00Automatic Pilot<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqfPYkZK06fCCOQEBh1-MV6vryJ9DK3_5PhgdqUcSZ0jsH5s-Iv_58rlpxQ6xHWoLdxhsxjNIuKJCz6q02DVr5KPU1Zd4aOix5rCE7Y5C_5z-IjSglXjjKlh4qe2fZso0JTwJdIRiRn2k/s1600/shade.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqfPYkZK06fCCOQEBh1-MV6vryJ9DK3_5PhgdqUcSZ0jsH5s-Iv_58rlpxQ6xHWoLdxhsxjNIuKJCz6q02DVr5KPU1Zd4aOix5rCE7Y5C_5z-IjSglXjjKlh4qe2fZso0JTwJdIRiRn2k/s320/shade.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Most days, when I wake up, I feel like I’m on automatic
pilot. First, the alarm goes off (or not; if I’ve spoken directly to the
Universe requesting a wake-up call the night before my eyes pop open before it
rings). Second, I automatically think to myself “Oh, no. Not time to get up
already!” or “Yay! Today’s the day I’m going to the beach!” depending on
whether my plans involve work or play. Then I roll out of bed, search for my
glasses and mouth guard (a loathsome thing that’s supposed to quell my teeth-grinding,
but which I invariably throw on the floor in my sleep), grab my robe, unplug my
cellphone from its charger, and head downstairs for a cup of tea. As I said:
automatic pilot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One recent day,
however, I decided to spend a bit more time in bed before rising. That was the
day I snapped the above picture, after noticing that the leaves of the pear
tree near my window were tapping against the pane outside the closed shade.
That morning, I spent quite a bit of time gazing and snapping photos. It was
such a pretty sight, and reminded me once again of how I tend to rush about
without really noticing the details.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Later that
day I was eating dinner with my family at the kitchen table. The curtains were
drawn because bright sunlight was streaming onto our faces, but at one point I
got up and looked outside. Just below my window were two adorable mourning
doves. They were hopping about in the grass cooing (I could hear them through
the pane). The grass was wet and green from a recent rain, and the doves seemed
playful. Once again, I was struck by the scenes that are outside my ordinary
field of vision.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This spring
an owl came to visit our home for a few days. We would hear him at 3 in the
morning, hooting in a tall tree. No amount of peering or searching brought him
to our sight, but we were alert in bed for more than an hour just listening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Deep in the night, right outside my window,
was a vast owl world unknown to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One day, returning home from a
local café with a cup of coffee, I went to my computer for a while, but then
got up again to check to see if a package had arrived. I’d heard a truck coming
up our hill and was curious. When I opened the door, the truck was gone and
there was no package, but a huge mound of dirt was piled up right at our front step, and there was a large open hole just beneath the foundation. A
skunk, woodchuck, or some other creature had been hard at work digging while
I’d been writing. Who knew?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Another day, I pulled open the
shade in my living room to find a dozen tall, bright yellow weeds I’d never
seen before. I snapped their photo, sadly knowing it will only be days before
my neighbor notices and mows them down.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I often
write about this sort of thing because I find it intriguing. How much goes on
while we’re not aware, not looking, or listening? I know that we can’t touch,
see, or feel every breeze, every flower, or every birdsong. But can’t we try?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-67697426402538237702016-05-08T07:59:00.000-07:002016-05-08T08:22:58.653-07:00Where in the Heck?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB8zfYWPhsyNgf3bpbo_pboj8a8yyJFDTfiu1yq4AX7p9Ah_0yeir36xaKoQxctGzyLgSRMNehAjfzjS1rLUMsMBKxTN4bFUoyxzx2IkeH0MQeDd-Z6aHqGf7a7rzp6IQKVkUB5P4A6Ck/s1600/LOST%25E2%2580%25A6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB8zfYWPhsyNgf3bpbo_pboj8a8yyJFDTfiu1yq4AX7p9Ah_0yeir36xaKoQxctGzyLgSRMNehAjfzjS1rLUMsMBKxTN4bFUoyxzx2IkeH0MQeDd-Z6aHqGf7a7rzp6IQKVkUB5P4A6Ck/s320/LOST%25E2%2580%25A6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The other day I was looking for something. I scoured the Internet,
doing a million and one Google searches. I looked in my overflowing home library
for a book that might contain the information. I searched my Nook, feeling as
if I had definitely seen the piece somewhere; it was something about a yoga set
I wanted to try. I went on Amazon and read a bunch of descriptions. Then, since
it was past midnight, I decided to give up my search. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I got ready for bed and started to head upstairs, but I had
the nagging feeling that if I didn’t find the piece I was searching for I
wouldn’t be able to sleep. So I went back to my computer and typed in a few
more search words. Low and behold! The information came up, I happily printed
it out, and went to bed. I was infinitely proud of myself for not giving up
(actually, I was so proud of myself that I couldn’t sleep!) I love a determined
search, and I heartily patted myself on the back (metaphorically of course) for
my persistence and success.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next day, I was rummaging through some papers on my
desk, still gloating from the previous night’s treasure hunt, when I came across
a book. The book looked exceedingly familiar. The book looked like it might
contain some valuable information. In fact, I had truly forgotten that I owned
the book at all. I picked it up, opened to the table of contents and found
precisely what I had been searching for the night before.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had been searching for something I already had! Omg.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Obviously, I just had to take this as a message from the
universe. We are all constantly searching for stuff that we already have! We
are all searching for love, and success, and contentment, and abundance, and excitement,
and who knows what else. We are all searching for answers and acknowledgement,
and yes, for articles and socks. A lot of time is wasted turning things upside
down, endlessly searching for that which is already found or for that which was
never even lost to begin with.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hug your kids, collect your hugs back, and Happy Mother’s
Day to all!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-50194286411491432422016-03-30T15:52:00.002-07:002016-03-30T15:52:32.081-07:00In the Moment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrS3ZQ-g5xs5fF7QZBKmfnO4qmmh1gO68E5Hzh5-KNqhrRmG89VT3H10rxCrq9qJbmXiCXZTcZx56qndJjJbShyphenhyphenrnJCu_LbWJaBfAKx_NUVGASysGfGbh4UKhc7yzbaPmPbwKAxdT5AxU/s1600/tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrS3ZQ-g5xs5fF7QZBKmfnO4qmmh1gO68E5Hzh5-KNqhrRmG89VT3H10rxCrq9qJbmXiCXZTcZx56qndJjJbShyphenhyphenrnJCu_LbWJaBfAKx_NUVGASysGfGbh4UKhc7yzbaPmPbwKAxdT5AxU/s320/tree.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This morning I went for a walk after reading an especially
disturbing news item online, the details of which I won’t share here since it
was too disturbing to be repeated. For a long time recently, in fact, I was on
a news-free diet, because things have gotten so out of hand in the world that
sometimes it’s just too painful to know, even though as a former news reporter
and news hound I love to be aware of what’s going on (especially during
election season!)<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I was walking I asked myself the question, once again, the
question of how people who have gone through so much pain can ever be happy
again, how they can ever believe in God or some other divine force, how they
can even find the strength to ever again get up in the morning. It’s a mystery
to me how human beings can continue to pick themselves up when they have fallen
so hard, when their limbs and hearts are broken, when they’ve lost hope, when
everything has fallen apart.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Just as I asked myself these questions, I heard a bird
calling from the top of a sycamore tree. I could hear but not see him. I stood
staring at the tree for a long, long time, watching the light play through the
branches, listening to the call of the invisible bird. As I stared up, the tree
and sky were all I saw, all I thought of, and I was completely at peace as I
gazed. In that moment, my memory of what I had read this morning vanished. My
worries and fears left. I was only in one place, and in one moment, marveling
at the beauty of nature and the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The only way out of pain is through the present moment; it
is all we have. There is nothing we can do to erase the pain. But the bird and
its tree (or the tree and its bird) reminded me that there will always be moments when we can forget. There will always be moments.<o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-27391412001150251472016-01-27T20:02:00.003-08:002016-01-28T06:30:53.202-08:00Loving Winter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKh7U6Lb8g9Wg8IjVbmIE7rB39aByiiqeIc1MCVa2c-6pkOp1OG_zuh4r9QnWbyePTsebq2HZJL-shyub5inF1hsgOYfC7H9_2ZwRAnhIz1o7_Drj4jNvdYRzMf56vO1YT-7_i1B0ehCg/s1600/snow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKh7U6Lb8g9Wg8IjVbmIE7rB39aByiiqeIc1MCVa2c-6pkOp1OG_zuh4r9QnWbyePTsebq2HZJL-shyub5inF1hsgOYfC7H9_2ZwRAnhIz1o7_Drj4jNvdYRzMf56vO1YT-7_i1B0ehCg/s320/snow.jpg" width="209" /></a></div>
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It’s officially here! To me, despite what the calendar may
say, winter does not officially arrive until the first snowfall. Last weekend
dumped more than a foot, so there’s no getting around it now. In celebration, I
finished my fifth reading of <i>Pride and Prejudice</i> because, in my opinion, there
is nothing much better than re-reading a beloved book in a snowstorm.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To be honest, however, I don’t especially like snow. I’m not
a skier, and I hate to be cold. Two days after the snow falls, I’m pretty much
done with it and I’m looking forward to spring. However, winter brings certain
wonderful things that I enjoy even more when the temperature drops. Here they
are, in no special order.<br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">1) </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Roasting vegetables, especially Brussels sprouts.
Somehow the bliss just isn’t there in 101-degree heat.</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Making soup, a relaxing therapy for a frigid
afternoon. And then, you get to eat it for days!</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Walking in the woods. There is nothing like the squeak
of fresh snow beneath your boots (except for maybe the crackling of leaves
underfoot in the fall).</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">4</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Going to the beach. Yes, I love the beach in the
winter. There’s no one there, and you won’t get a sunburn.</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5) <span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Lighting candles (soy, of course). Candles are
beautiful any time but on a cold winter night they sparkle in a heightened way. Of course, if you have a fireplace, all the better.</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Snuggling under the covers with your loved ones
(no, I’m not talking about a ménage a trois—I’m referring to your mate and your
little ones, if you have them).</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Holidays. To ward off the winter doldrums, there
are so many wonderful holidays in winter. Since my favorite pastime of all is
being with family, winter is the perfect time to indulge.</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Hot tea. Normally I’m a decaf coffee drinker,
but winter and tea are perfect together.</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Feeding the birds. They’re just so darned
appreciative in the winter, and so exquisitely picturesque in the snow.</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10)<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Snow shoveling at night. If you want to
experience quiet while getting a workout, there’s nothing like stepping outside
into the cold night air and shoveling the moonlit snow.</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11)<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Reading. Winter reading is a gift, because what
else are you going to do when it’s too cold to play outside and you want to
avoid house cleaning?</span><br />
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12) </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Southern vacations. Yes, I know this is about winter,
but one of the joys of the season is getting away from it. I love to head to visit my
relatives in North Carolina in February.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The South just always seems, well, Southier, when it’s extra cold up
north.</span></div>
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Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6660691580868954657.post-35095438074226899182015-12-09T16:29:00.000-08:002015-12-09T19:47:06.848-08:00Eyes Wide Open<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdI5A1UztAcf1BbqFFrGndR7s3kH4RRvstj91tntdp0qA1pZsa-rBxmctT_h-K-jfg09rLeC_pOjoYJv0vUHnLf2iyfUgXxAWo9FqbkCF1ZRG8jWpH8Sqi7H5U7UER004pbORWtb261Kk/s1600/Ivy+one.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdI5A1UztAcf1BbqFFrGndR7s3kH4RRvstj91tntdp0qA1pZsa-rBxmctT_h-K-jfg09rLeC_pOjoYJv0vUHnLf2iyfUgXxAWo9FqbkCF1ZRG8jWpH8Sqi7H5U7UER004pbORWtb261Kk/s320/Ivy+one.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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A few weeks ago I was taking a walk when I turned up a path
I don’t usually follow and there I spied this beautiful ivy creeping up a stone
wall. I whipped out my cell phone to take a picture and thought about it all
day long. What if I hadn’t made that turn? Not that missing an attractive plant
would have made any difference in my life, but I was reminded once again of how
much goes on in the world that we might miss if we get too set in our ways (or
paths) or become unwilling to see things from another perspective.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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When I was a kid I used to spend a great deal of time
staring through the panes of a stained glass window on a landing of the stairs
to the second floor of our house. The window wasn’t fancy in the least—in fact,
the entire middle section was clear glass. But the slim panes around the edges
were of different colors. If I looked through the red pane the yard below
seemed to be lit with fire, the grass and rosebushes crimson. When I gazed
through the light blue pane everything was serene and still.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Long moments would pass while I marveled at
how differently I felt as I surveyed my yard through various lenses of color.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Recently, in my own home, I suddenly looked up from my
computer to spy a woodchuck outside the window, nibbling a fallen pear a few
yards away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A little while later I
sensed movement on a tree outside. I ran to a window upstairs and realized that by changing
my perspective a bit, I could now see a gorgeous redheaded woodpecker; he
wasn’t visible from my location on the first floor.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Clearly we can’t see all things from all sides at all times.
It’s impossible for us to take all paths and know all outcomes. We have to pick
and choose, and sometimes in choosing one path over another we miss out on a
bird, or a flower, or an opportunity. But at other times our intuition (or
something else) guides us to look up at just the right moment, or to turn at
just the right point, or to arrive or leave just when something wonderful (or
horrible) is happening.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some people seem to have a knack for being in the right
place at the right time. Others seem to get it wrong a lot. I like to think
that if we keep our eyes open, stay receptive to new possibilities, let go of the
fear of change, and most importantly, listen within, we’ll walk on the miraculous
side of life. As any artist knows, changing perspective changes the whole picture. Just have to be willing.<o:p></o:p></div>
Kathryn E. Livingstonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15920126735161039020noreply@blogger.com2