I Once Was Lost...

But now I’m found. No, I’m not talking about religious matters. I mean I was quite literally and frequently lost, because—unlike some folks, who seem to know exactly when to hang a right or left and at which stop sign—I have the tendency, especially when driving a car, to head in exactly the opposite direction that I should.

            Enter the GPS navigation system, which I finally received as a gift last year. This little device has “completely changed my life!” No longer must I take copious notes every time I plan a trip, nor do I need to endlessly stop at stinky gas stations for directions, nor do I have to pull over at every corner to puzzle over crinkly, musty old maps that are impossibly difficult to re-fold once you’ve opened them. Nor do I have to nod and smile while someone explains how to get some place, as if I’m not going to forget everything they’ve just said as soon as I slip behind the wheel.

            What incredible freedom! Now, when I enter my car, I simply plug in this little box and away I go. Yes, I realize that occasionally these systems screw up, or take you into potentially dangerous neighborhoods. But they can also get you out of them—just listen to the voice and follow the directions, or if you wish, barrel on in any direction and the voice will say (if rather defiantly), “Re-calculating.”

            Most likely you’re not as impressed with the GPS as I am, because most likely you’ve never had a debilitating fear of driving. But for those kindred spirits out there who know what I’m talking about because you’ve “been there,” not having to worry about getting lost is a godsend. It’s also a time-saver, because there’s no need to waste precious moments fretting, frowning, and crinkling maps.

            Yes, I know there are many more exciting inventions like the iPad, the BlackBerry and the banana holder (or even the modern washing machine—I actually remember when my mom had to manually transfer the laundry from the washing bin to the spin cycle!).  But I’ll still cast my vote for my GPS: Not having to worry about where you’re going or how you’re going to get there is truly liberating.

Now, if I could just get my internal GPS to work as well: Should I quit that one tedious writing job or keep at it? Is it time to get rid of the bangs? Should I stop hanging around with that rather negative friend? I know! I’m going to eat that piece of cheesecake!

“Re-calculating…re-calculating…”